Today I went for my first interview since I lost my job. It didn't go well, but the first one rarely does. You learn from it and build from there.
I went in not knowing what the job was, I was called and said I'll be there. Mistake one was not asking what the role was. (not that it would have made a difference anyways) I was given a lot of very technical questions that I was unable to answer. I'm not sure if this is because they were wanted more than I had experience wise, or that I just suck at what I do. I'm not sure which, that's not the point.
Halfway through the interview I realized that the questions I didn't know the answers to were theory questions that most people in my field would know. What does this mean? Not much really, but it did throw a red flag in my brain. The only thing I could think of while in the interview was how much I didn't want the job. This isn't typically what you think. You're usually thinking "I hope I gave a good answer", "I hope they call me".
I came home and cried, not because the interview went badly, but what it means for me. It showed me that my current career path isn't the one I should be on. My passion is not where I thought it was. Here would be the stripped down part. I basically, in the matter of a few hours, stripped down my very professional identity to nothing. I took the first job I was offered out of university and let it fully define me as a person. The scary thought that has me in a ball of anxiety is that maybe that person isn't who I really am. I'm unsure who I can be, and that's the absolutely terrifying part. I feel like I'm starting over with little guidance.
I heard people say we should all ask ourselves "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I didn't know the answer to that question when I was kid, and I still don't have a clue where to begin answering it today. I'm a believer that no one really knows the answer, but at least they have an idea.
Hugs! I have faith you are going to find the right path for you. <3
ReplyDeletesomething will turn up, I'm just scared it won't be in my field. But I suppose there are IT rolls in every job somewhere.
ReplyDeleteDon't be scared of starting over. It took me 6 years and a full bachelor degree in the subject to realize that i didn't want science as career path. Now i'm going into my 9th year of school and my last year of accounting classes. I love the topic but have no idea where i'm going to go with it. Don't worry and keep an open mind.
ReplyDeleteI think the idea that you might not know what you want to be when you grow up is only a problem if you think you ever have to grow up and do one thing for your whole life. So many people change career paths many times in life. It is scary, for sure! But knowing what you don't want brings you one step closer to knowing what you do want.... you can at least eliminate one thing!
ReplyDeleteI didn't have an answer to that question either when I was a kid. I've been trying to figure out what kind of work I'd love to do since then.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I realized I loved was helping in my dad's garden - so I decided to study herbology. Now I'm working a desk job in an herbal clinic and hating it. I'd rather be outside picking plants.
My other love was being around horses, so I think that's where I'm heading next...I think I'll have to get my driver's license and a car for that though.
Thinking about it now (given where I know you from), I've also always LOVED dancing. I wouldn't mind teaching it because I love teaching people things they can be excited about learning - and things that I love doing too.
So I guess the advice I'd give you (I know I've rambled and not been very clear, lol) is to figure out what you absolutely love to do and then find a way to get paid to do it.
I know starting over like that is terrifying (I did it when I moved to Calgary), but there is a good part - you can go wherever you want with it. And you can take as much time to get there as you need.
~Heather